When Disappointment Causes Division

How do you find your way back together with other people when your expectations are not met?

Division can breed when people are disappointed in one another. When you have a certain expectation for someone else and they do not meet it, your disappointment in them might tempt you to disconnect or walk away from the relationship. This is especially true with leaders, who don’t say, do, or go the way you expected them to.

You’re not the first person to feel this way or to face this conflict. People have always been disappointed in their friends and leaders—even since Jesus’ day.

In 2 Corinthians 4, Paul wrote to a church who was disappointed with him. They expected a certain kind of leader, someone who brought clout and excitement, and he came differently than expected. This disappointment made them want to pull away, looking for someone else to follow.

Instead of allowing that division, Paul did not give up. He pursued them, inviting new expectations, and setting their relationship back on the path of their common goal: following Jesus.

In 2 Corinthians 4:1-7, Paul explained the differences between himself and other leaders. He said, “We don’t go around preaching about ourselves. We preach that Jesus Christ is Lord, and we ourselves are your servants for Jesus’ sake.”

Paul believed that the people were more important than problems. He was committed to remaining in unity in such a way that pointed them back to Jesus. He did not allow disappointment to divide their relationship.

Paul teaches that when it comes to disappointment in relationships, followers of Jesus might imitate Christ in His love for others, His suffering at the hands of those who expected a different kind of leader, and His pursuit of unity with those same people.

Finding your way back together again after disappointment is not easy. It’s costly, requiring sacrificial humility and patience. And yet, it is the way of Jesus.

PRAY

God,
Thank You for Your grace as we name and navigate disappointment in our relationships. Thank You that You never abandon us, God. Please help us discern well as we don’t settle for distance, and as we choose, over and over again, to find our way back together again. Bless our efforts as we pursue unity in the Spirit. Help us to love others well. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Dive Deeper

When disappointment tempts your relationships to divide, what costly action will you take to bring people back together? Consider a friendship or relational connection that feels hard today, but might find new life in Jesus.